Drop The Shoulds

drop-the-shoulds

One time I watched a three-year-old at her birthday party. Her friends were there from preschool, and she received lots of presents. The cake came out, she admired the pink frosting rose at its center, and everyone sang. One of the moms cut pieces and without thinking sliced right through the rose – a disaster […]

Celebrate Your Strength – Learning to Love the Flaws

love-flaws

As I wrote in my most recent book, Living as a River: Relating to someone as a “self”–on the basis of how we see them right now–is like seeing a video reduced to a single frame, or seeing a ball hurtling through the air in a freeze-frame photograph. It’s life-denying. It’s a static way of […]

Sampaja: Unraveling Lifelong Habits with Mindfulness

lifelong-habits

It’s discouraging, isn’t it, to watch ourselves fall repeatedly into our same old habitual traps. We try to practice mindfulness, but it can be frustrating. Do you ever have days where you’re so caught up that you realize only at night, despite your best intentions, that you weren’t mindful for even one moment? And it’s […]

Getting Rid of Resentment

angel-girl-resentment

Ann Lamott, in her novel Crooked Little Heart, says that holding onto resentment is like eating rat poison and waiting for the rat to die. Resentment is seductive. We assume on some level that it’s going to help us, but it doesn’t. It just causes us pain. This is something that just about all of […]

A Living Web of Gratitude

living-web-of-gratitude

What do you feel when someone thanks you for something? For a comment in a meeting, a task done at home, an extra step taken, an encouraging word. You probably feel seen, appreciated, that you matter to the other person. Maybe a little startled, maybe wondering if you really deserve it, but also glad. Personally, […]

The Science of Loving-Kindness

loving-kindness

Right at the very beginning of my meditation practice I was introduced to both mindfulness of breathing and the development of loving kindness meditation. It was explained to me that both of these practices were equally important, that they were complementary, and that alternating these practices prevented imbalance in our approach. It was stressed, in […]