Healing Our Heart Chakra: Feeling Rejected, Abandoned, Unloved, Unimportant?

Heal your heart with love!

Have you ever been stood up, left hanging, left waiting and wondering? No call, no apology, no explanation or accountability – nothing at all. What kind of person stands on top of another, and why? How does this painfully selfish and self-centered behavior make you feel? How does one reconcile feelings of intense disappointment and hurt? When a friend or lover simply leaves you behind; feeling used, abandoned, rejected, unloved – ruined.  We tend to hold on to the pain and suffering, allowing it to consume us fully, as if we are deserving of the punishment. My question to you is… What do you do with this uninvited guest who never seems to leave? How long do you hold on to the pain? Do you allow yourself to be powerless, lost in a sea of unending suffering? How do we keep ourselves from drowning in the sorrow that keeps us from moving on? How do we love again?

Answer: Written by Katherine Austin

Healing our heart chakra is, for most of us, part of our soul work this lifetime. This work may show up later in life as we get triggered by things from our past that were not healed or resolved from our childhood. My uninvited guest, pain, showed up when my denial was breaking. After years of denying my feelings and trying to people please I hit my bottom and began to do the work of looking at my part in all my painful relationships. As much as I would have liked to blame my pain on someone else or the situation, ultimately I had to show up, grow up and heal me.

When we are filled up inside with self love, positive self esteem we are less and less effected by those around us doing their soul work. We all have our stuff to work out but we don’t have to take on other’s karmas.  We have enough of our own to resolve!
The reason we get triggered by “separateness” ie: abandonment, disappointment, empowerment, rejection, sadness is that our ego is in control instead of our soul. Our first relationship is with our Higher Power, God or Universe (whichever name works for you).  All other relationships are just icing on the cake. They don’t “complete us.” We already are complete.  We are children of God.  Our pure essence is LOVE.
I found the peace, love, joy and happiness I was looking for in others was already inside of me just waiting to be rediscovered. If I keep the focus on me, start my day with spiritual connection ie: prayer, meditation or yoga I am more likely to stay in my higher self and be less triggered by others dramas.  I know when I get pulled into other’s stuff there is something in me I’m trying to avoid healing or looking at. I Love that awareness now and am happy to step up for more growth work!  Bring on the freedom baby!

Thank you Katherine Austin (owner of Karma Yoga) for your inspiring response!

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  1. This is an enlightening article…..makes a lot of sense. Thank you

  2. I’m all for healing and opening the heart chakra. Growth and compassion can grow out of it. While acknowledging that each one is different with our own physical and karmic makeup I have found that “healing the heart chakra” was not necessarily the place to start. Energy moves up the spine from the Muladhara Chakra upto the Sahasrara Chakra at the Crown of the head. The base is the 1st and the the crown is the 7th. The heart is the 4th at the Anahata.

    If the start, the root, the base is not adequately grounded the whole system can be off like the heart (with pain and emotional trauma) and the crown (psychosis).

    I found as I grounded myself, in my case with qigong, the heart became stable. By grounding I mean getting connected with the earth and literally and metaphorically focusing all the energy on your feet and legs and its relation to the planet. Focusing on this rather than the heart helped the whole system.

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