Throughout my life I have been able to come face to face with so many of my insecurities, self doubts, fears and emotions. However, I have recently come to realize that the one emotion I have not fully come to terms with is anger. In the past, I would become uncomfortable when supporting those who are in pain or experiencing sadness, but that is no longer the case. I’ve developed the skill to hold the space powerfully for people to experience what they are experiencing without the need to rescue or make them feel better, which is actually a reaction to make ourselves feel better in an uncomfortable situation.
In response to a recent event, I felt very angry and recognized that I was extremely uncomfortable to feel and express my anger. This raised my curiosity as to why my own anger makes me so uncomfortable. Then I had “ah-ha” moment! Not only am I uncomfortable to experience and express my own anger, but also to witness other people’s expression of anger, especially anger with aggression. I become so uncomfortable that I want to flee. With this newfound awareness, I can now see how this has been a blind spot for me.
I realized that when I suppress anger, it turns into sadness or hurt. I can see how being uncomfortable with anger and suppressing it has caused me to not follow through with certain conversations I needed to have or address others when I felt angry about something. Then I would feel hurt and wanted to avoid the person. The result was that I was not being authentic and not living up to my commitment of speaking straight and empowering others and myself. I am so grateful for this consciousness because in order to continue to be fully expressive, accomplish extraordinary things in my life, and be for others powerfully, I know I must to come to terms with and embrace anger.
I used to think of anger as bad, but it is not. In fact, it is necessary to get in touch with all emotions because you can’t numb or suppress one emotion without numbing all the others. It is essential to have the courage to fully experience fear, sadness, hurt, loneliness, guilt, shame, pain and anger in order to let them go. It is just as important to embrace those emotions, as it is happiness, joy, peace, gratitude, humility and love.
I know that what I resist persists and what I try to avoid will keep coming up for me until I consciously become aware of it, experience it, and accept it. Only when I am willing to do that, in the moment, will I be OK with my own anger and that of those around me. Then its possible to create the space to set others and myself free!
Cheers to being courageous to walk through the darkness of fear and anger to get to the other side for freedom and love!