Last month was the first ever Baptiste Level 3 “Beyond Borders” teacher training. I was so grateful to be a part of this groundbreaking, game-changing experience. I had the opportunity to be a group leader and I was pushed beyond my boundaries, some I didn’t even know existed.
The shifts I experienced were fundamental in my body and being. Many of the trainings I have been to in the past have been life-changing on several levels, but this training was transformational in the bones of my being. It was like the earth plates shifted and a new power and way of being was born.
I had a complete transformation in trust. I thought I trusted others and myself but so much was a false trust of forcing or over rationalizing and analyzing. I was trying to believe and very busy convincing others how much I trusted everyone, life situations and the world, but I realized it was all in my head and at my gut core level I didn’t trust myself and therefore situations, others or even the universe.
In a morning meditation I had the experience of not trying to do anything and was purely just “being.” I felt the sensations in my body; I experienced the experiences of anticipation and fear but without any attachment or story, just sensation. I was able to purely distinguish the difference between real fears versus fear created in my mind. In that moment, I realized that all the fear and lack of trust I had in my life was not real. It was a creation from projecting or anticipation, but not ever what was actually happening. I experienced the profound difference between thinking versus knowing. In that moment, such ease washed over me.
Real truth is like gravity, whether you believe in it or not, it exists! The false reality that I create in my mind is just a tale, and a tiring one at that. I was able to witness that it is never what I am doing that is exhausting me but what I am thinking that takes all of my energy. I am truly a well of limitless energy but my mind is the heaviest weight that I carry. And the most burdensome of all is the fear of my limitations and barriers. Fear that I will not be good enough if I don’t move through them and fear that if I do, I won’t be able to handle it.
The limitations and barriers in my life are all self created. Instead of running from them and the fear I feel when I brush up against them, I actually now am able to love them because I know that they are what point the way to real freedom, truth and love. Beyond my barriers are no limitations; it is limitless like the ever-expanding universe.
I am so grateful to be living my life today as THIS IS IT. It gets better only when we declare it so; we are OK only when we decide to be OK. We let go when we choose to let go. We truly live life when we are willing to live from our heart, embrace fear, and walk through it to peace, joy, freedom and happiness. There is no waiting because waiting is thinking about doing. There is just being and putting your being into action to create every moment into something that you want to live. This is it – live it as if it is!
With Much Love,
Courtesy of Bala Vinyasa Yoga.