I Just Can’t Relax!

woman-meditatingDo you ever hear someone say something or read something that just strikes a chord with you? You sit there and think: “Wow I am the exact same way and I never really realized it in that way before.” This happened recently here at ASKinyourface.com. One of our loyal readers wrote this comment on an article about getting rid of bad habits:

Shen says:

August 4, 2011 at 1:52 pm

I enjoyed reading this for many reasons; I am guilty of certain ‘addictive’ or ‘negative’ habits, but then I also think it’s important to define what makes them negative—and that isn’t easy. I think negativity enters in when one habit interferes with other important things. My negative habit is being overscrupulous; I have to do everything, and I have to do it at 150% capacity, and I lack the ability to practice self-nurturing. I have to answer all e-mails, I have to be the BEST teacher, the BEST mother, and the BEST friend. I am also faithful with yoga, meditation and working out. I have forgotten how to relax, read and just ‘BE.’ If I am watching a movie I adore, I am also thinking about the dishes that need to be put away, or a call I forgot to return. It is difficult to replace obligatory habits with self-healing ones, but I am sure open to options.

When I read about her bad habit being “over-scrupulous” and her description of it, I thought, “Wow that’s me!” I often think to myself about how I can rarely ever truly relax because I’m always worried about something, thinking about my next work tasks, my future appointments or things I’ve scheduled to do. While thinking about the future, planning, organizing, doing my best work, and working hard are all good qualities: what happens when you start to obsess over things?

Always the first thing I do when I wake up is check my phone and my emails and immediately start answering and often do a few hours of work in my pajamas. Otherwise, I would be getting up and getting ready too quickly in order to go straight to work. Working in my PJs is one of the true perks to working from home, but where do I draw the line?

I want to be able to find the balance between work and play. I can rarely ever truly relax until after all my work is done, there are no starred emails in my inbox, and I tend to freak out when I have a to-do list as long as my desk and feel the need to get everything done RIGHT NOW.

I am starting to think of a better morning ritual. If I get up early enough, I should be going for a walk, stretching, making myself breakfast and relaxing instead of jumping out of bed, grabbing a granola bar and diving right into my emails.

Anyone else out there “over-scrupulous”? Any tips for me? I’ll be thinking about this and hopefully writing another blog soon on the topic.

Courtesy of Lauren’s Thoughts.

You may also like:

When Willpower is Trumped by Bad Habits

5 Steps to Create a New Habit

Four Simple Fitness Fundamentals

© Copyright 2011  Allison Stuart Kaplan  www.Askinyourface.com LLC

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  1. Hugs, Lauren, and maybe someone will respond with some advice, and by the way, getting up earlier ( which I do) only expands the amount of time for MORE things TO DO. My son is like us, but I used to marvel at my daughter’s ability to ‘just be.’ She would race in from her little job, collapse in the family room (sneakers still on and hands unwashed) and remain there for hours watching television and then snacking. But there are many other people out there who can lounge and relax. How—please take me to your leader.

  2. Lauren, I struggle with that also. Sometimes it helps to set your intention before bed. What are your early morning intentions? What will your morning look like? Remind yourself that you get to choose..you can be a victim or a creator (my next article)! I would also be happy to do Emotional Freedom Techniques with you (EFT) which is energy work …similar to acupuncture but for the emotions and tapping on the points rather than using needles…also using affirmations!!! Contact me!

  3. Thank you both for your wonderful comments! Both of you inspire me to start making goals and working towards them to a healthier and happier ‘me’! :)

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