CANCER – In Your Face: Allison’s Journey

allison-stuart-kaplan-homepage-Askinyourface.comWhen I spontaneously started Askinyourface.com two and a half years ago, I had no idea–not an inkling–that I would ever be writing about cancer, my cancer. Our minds just don’t work like that; I don’t believe they are supposed to. I have tried to live my life as an optimist with dedicated positivity. I’m being tested now.

We all seem to have these neat, little mechanisms in our brains that work diligently to protect us from frightening thoughts of our inevitable mortality. I don’t think this defensive strategy is denial, but more simply intelligent and orderly preparation for events to come. You know, the “in God’s big plan for us” type. Those of which we are completely unaware, those with ZERO control!  Blessed genetics, daily exercise, healthy diet, low stress levels, loving relationships, being nice, meditation–all of it, any of it–will not always prevent cancer from catching us!

Digression: What the f….?  You? Allison? You of all people? You have cancer? How in the hell, in God’s right mind, could you have cancer?  You have always been the model of health, eaten right, worked out everyday, slept right, managed life right, and have been the one to teach us and guide us about how to protect ourselves from sickness. How could this possibly be? I just don’t believe it! I won’t believe it! We depend on YOU, we need you to keep us healthy and strong. Now what?

Hey, over here….I’m still here.

Scary, right? If it can happen to me, then I suppose it can happen to any person. Cancer is just an ugly fact of life; more common than not, it seems, it affects our loved ones and ourselves. And there is nothing anyone can do about it! Or, is there?

My head is often spinning with strange, new, sometimes uncomfortable and scary thoughts. (I recently saw some really frightening stuff at MD Anderson Cancer Center. Though luckily I also experienced amazingly positive things.)

Ok, here comes the positive spin, my optimistic view of the whole situation. I’m hopeful that because of my prior healthy lifestyle habits, (mind you, not always perfect and pristine) my immune system, my body, and my spirit will be strong enough, tough enough, good enough to keep this cancer from taking my life from me too soon or from making me sick. Right now, I feel just fine!  And I’m going to do my absolute best to maintain the status quo. I will continue to live each day the best way I know how; exercise everyday, make healthy dietary choices, sleep well, play, work, relax, love and laugh often. I hope it works!

I’ve only had cancer for a month now; it’s a lot to deal with. Much has transpired and changed in this short time, and my life as I knew it will never be the same. Oh, how sickeningly cliché–but so true! I have started a blog. This is what I seem to do: I write and share and hope to help others while doing so.

My web guy and dear friend, Tim, who has led me down this internet path, doesn’t like the word “blog.” “What exactly should I call it then?” I ask him.  As always, he is thinking about it. God help me! I’ll let the man think. In the meantime I have begun to write about my experience with cancer. I don’t know how often I will write or what about. I’m obviously “out there” in your face with much of life’s shenanigans, my stuff, your stuff…this IS what makes me tick. My cancer journey will be no different.

To read more on Allison’s Cancer journey, check out Cancer In Your Face.

© 2011 Copyright   Allison Stuart Kaplan  www.Askinyourface.com LLC

Be Sociable, Share!

Related posts:

Love this post? Buy us a coffee to celebrate!

Comments

  1. Needless to say, this blog has shaken me to my roots. I’m glad to see there’s a part of you that is coming out good and angry because I believe that you’re determination will be the saving grace. I send you all the love of our history together and the promise that I am only a phone call away….even if you just need to call someone and say f…k f…k f…k f…k f…k!….and I will agree with you!

  2. Allison, as I said before you are such an amazing woman and great role model! It is really brave of you to share your story out here for every one to see and I’m sure it will inspire and help others going through something similar. <3

  3. Allison,
    You are an inspiration in everything you do. It does seem incredibly unfair and ridiculous, even, that YOU of all people would get cancer. But as always, you are setting an example for all of us about how to live with integrity and zest for life. Sending you so much love!
    Lynne

  4. garden friend says:

    Allison,
    Sorry to hear this. If anyone can beat this nasty disease, it is you! Please know that you are in the many thoughts and prayers of all the people whose lives you have touched. You are an amazing person!

  5. And if we had a crystal ball, how different would we live our lives? I believe you wouldn’t be living your life any different than you have been and continue to. Authentic, healthy, strong and with humor. Oh…and did I mention with lots of good friends? You are a teacher to many in very different ways and now in a new way. A new norm for you to get used to and an eye opener for us all to see the blessings in everyday life. As I’ve said before, you are one of those blessings for me. xo

  6. Allison, thank you for your courage in letting us know about your diagnosis. I wish we had more answers on why cancer is so prevalent today…I am sure we are exposed to toxins that are out of our control. In any event, you are such an inspiration in the lives of so many with your unbelievably postive attiude,your committment to being of service,your integrity, your passion for yoga and excercise. You are a shinning light of love, peace and joy.Please know that you are in my thoughts and prayers Allison.

  7. Katherine Austin says:

    Dearest Angel Allison….. I can’t believe what I’m reading but what I do know is that God always has a plan. We can’t see what it is in the moment of challenge but ultimately truth: love & faith will trump any dis-ease. Affirmation: I am whole, healthy and healed.

    I love you.

    Calling in the light,

    K

  8. kate smith says:

    Allison, I can’t beleive what I am reading. I can’t imagine the kind of time it takes to begin to process this. Please know that I offer you my friendship, support and love in any way that I can. Please do not hesitate to reach out. Know that love is there for you. You are so loved! You are in my prayers and in my heart. and surely the hearts of many. Stay strong. love kate

  9. Laura Podob says:

    Allison, My thoughts and prayers are with you, will be sending you healing thoughts daily.

  10. Lysie Bright says:

    Allison

    I was reading ASK in your Face and stumbled upon your journal, you are a strong amazing women and I am sending positive thoughts your way.
    Love Lysie

  11. Maura Kennedy says:

    Allison – I too have CLL. my hem/onco was supposed to fax my latest test to Dr. Keating – they never got it. Want to be sure I have the right fax #. I have 713-794-1602. Is that right? Aprrecitae reply. I had zap 70 and it came out positive. I’m not sure what that means.
    Love, Maura Kennedy, NJ

    • Hi Maura – Forgive me for not responding sooner – my apologies! The fax number you have is correct but here is an alternate fax number as well – 713-794-1602 attn: Alice Lynn or Jackie Broadway I hope you are feeling well!

  12. Allison, I heard thru the grapevine….I am soooo very sorry to hear this!! But as one of your other posts said “If any one can beat it, it’s YOU!!You ARE an amazing, caring, sharing person and deserve to win the fight!! Hang in there girl-I look forward to seeing you in Florida soon.
    Best Wishes
    Stacey

  13. Bonnie Witkin Stuart says:

    Dearest Al,
    I love that we can change the way people think about cancer. That it is not a death sentence, but rather a call to life! And “living with cancer” is a new and accurate way to think about it and the reality for so many. I have not yet met a better teacher for gratitude and living in the moment than cancer. I wish it could have been different for me and for you, but together with our strong bodies, spirits, minds and so much love, we will beat this! I look forward to moving into old age with you for many many years to come!
    I love you so,
    Bonnie

Speak Your Mind

*