Times have changed — Today’s midlife crisis is not your Mama’s midlife crisis. We no longer buy into those negative stereotypes of crazy menopausal women with nothing left to offer the world after the kids are grown. Nowadays we know more and understand that this time of transition is a blessing. It’s your wake up call to change what’s not working in your life. It’s a very loud and sometimes scary wake up call, but if you listen to it, you’re in store for some wonderful, powerful changes in your life. Be grateful for it.
Midlife Crisis Symptoms
Midlife crisis symptoms can range significantly depending on your lifestyle and how satisfied and happy you are. Major midlife issues such as divorce, empty nest syndrome, death of parents, or job loss often trigger a more severe transition into the midlife years. Check to see if you have any of these symptoms?
The good news is that you’re living in a time of enlightenment when we know that so much growth and awareness comes out of this midlife transition period. It’s a time of rebirth, re-evaluating, and awakening. It can be a great gift if you let it.
So, you now understand that this female midlife crisis can be a good thing, what’s the best way of dealing with it? How to you make the second half of your life your best?Â Set aside those negative stereotypes and make the next chapter in your life your best. Don’t let age limit you in any way — it’s NEVER too late to have a happy fulfilling life.
How to Start Over in Midlife
You never thought you’d be facing how to start over at this time of your life. You’re not alone though. Midlife really is a time for starting over for many women.Â It’s a time to figure out how to be happy when you’re: Redefining your life when your kids have the nerve to grow up and leave you.Â Figuring out who you are on your own if you’re suddenly single again at 40 or 50.Â Â Having to rethink your career after losing your job.Â Wondering where to find the nerve to start a new midlife career when your job has lost its magic and you’re not fulfilled at work.Â Learning that your long held religious beliefs are no longer providing answers to the questions you really need answered in this period of life.
Learning how to start over can feel a little scary and you may find yourself feeling confused, anxious, frustrated or even angry. But it can also be a time of such renewal and passion and finding out who you REALLY are other than someone’s mother, wife, daughter, or employee.
This is the time to find your true purpose and it can be a wonderful fresh start for women who can finally focus on their own needs and desires.
Instead of looking at it as “restarting” think of it as: Rebirth,Â Rejuvenation,Â Rekindling,Â Reviving,Â Recharging -Â Sometimes you have to face a major overhaul and sometimes you just need a little fine tuning.
Here are some tips to help you with the transition no matter what kind of life changes you’re facing:
- Accept where you are. It’s too easy to get stuck focusing on what you’ve lost. If you stay in this place too long it’s hard to make your way out. In order to move forward you have to accept your current situation and focus on where you want to be; not where you’ve been.
Don’t judge, make excuses or complain about where you are.
DECIDE where you want to be.Â Put time into this; this is your life! When you decide what it is you want and believe it can happen, it will be yours. But you have to stop living by default just letting whatever happens each day be okay. You are a deliberate creator and this is the time in your life whenÂ you have to figure out what you want out of this life.
Do you want a new relationship? Say it out loud. Don’t tell everyone how hurt you’ve been and tell jokes about men and you’d rather be alone. Speak what you really want. Write down what you really want.Â Do you want a new career? Do your research. Millions of people have learned how to start over in midlife, but a new job won’t come knocking on your door, so you have to do the work of figuring out what you want. Once you decide what you want, you will be amazed at all the ideas and opportunities that will come your way.
Be careful about your self talk. I recently heard someone going on about how difficult it was going to be for her to find a job since she was just laid off and no one will want to hire someone her age. This kind of mindset is dangerous and way too prevalent.
What can you learn from this new beginning? What new insights have you learned? What would you do different today? What has made you stronger and wiser? What do you still need to learn?Â Every experience teaches us something; are you open to learning what it is?
How would you counsel a friend trying to figure out how to start over? We are often much better equipped to see the right path when it’s directed at someone else. We can be much kinder and gentler with others than we are with ourselves sometimes.
Don’t worry about what others will think. This is so hard for many of us. Letting go of what others think will lift a huge weight off of you. Your friends and family mean well but they are filtering things through their own beliefs and values; not yours. Listen to your internal voice instead of theirs.
Don’t be too hard on yourself. Everyone is different and there are no rules for how long it takes to figure out how to be happy again after a major life change. Just keep taking small steps every day
courtesy of: http://www.happyhalfway.com/
What does a female midlife crisis look like, anyway? A big face-lift, a little red car, an overdose, an affair, an escape to the GalÃ¡pagos Islands? Or none of the above?
It is both a stable truth and an unsettling one that our lives loop and twist from age to age. The baby toddles into childhood, the child erupts into a teen, then a woman, who by the time she has passed 40 is long overdue to shed her skin again. That shedding can be traumatic, treacherous, born of sorrow or stress; but to hear the prophets of personal reinvention tell it, it may also be an unexpected gift. With that endearing sense of discovery that baby boomers bring to the most enduring experiences – like growing up or finding God or burning out – women are confronting the obstacles of middle age and figuring out how to turn them into opportunities. Thanks to higher incomes, better education and long experience at juggling multiple roles, women may actually discover that there has never been a better time to have a midlife crisis than now.Â (See TIME’s special report “The State of the American Woman.”)
Sue Shellenbarger was 49, living in Oregon and writing her “Work & Family” column for theÂ Wall Street Journal, when in the space of two years she got divorced, lost her father, drained her bank account and developed a taste for wilderness camping and ATV riding that left her crumpled up on an emergency-room gurney. “People around me thought I’d taken leave of my senses,” she says. A few months later, “I was in a sling, trying to type with my broken collarbone, on the phone with one of my editors, and we were laughing about it.” At that point, she says, “I realized a midlife crisis is a cliché until you have one.”
Fast-forward two years: this spring she publishedÂ The Breaking Point: How Female Midlife Crisis Is Transforming Today’s Women, which suggests that the national conversation is about to have a hot flash. The passage through middle age of so large a clump of women – there are roughly 43 million American women ages 40 to 60 – guarantees that some rules may have to be rewritten and boundaries moved to accommodate them. That was part of the inspiration for Shellenbarger’s book. “I thought I could help other women see this coming in their lives,” Shellenbarger says, “and not only avoid doing damage to others but capitalize on it.”
In fact, the very word crisis, while suitably dramatic, seems somehow wrong for this generation’s experience. Unlike their mothers and unlike the men in their lives, this cohort of women is creating a new model for what midlife might look like. Researchers have found that the most profound difference in attitude between men and women at middle age is that women are twice as likely to be hopeful about the future. Women get to wrestle their hormones through a Change of Life; but however disruptive menopause may be for some women, the changes that matter most are often more psychic and spiritual than physical. Talk to women about what happens when they hit midlife hurdles – whether divorce or disease, an empty nest, the loss of a parent – and very often the response is a surprise even to them. They may first turn inward, ask the cosmic questions or retrieve some passion they put aside to make room for a career and family and adult responsibilities. Take a trip. Write a novel. Go back to school. Learn to kiteboard. But then, having done something to help themselves, they have a powerful urge to help others. Best of all is when they can do both at once.